Saya berusaha menulis ini dari jam setengah 5 sore. Sampai sekarang, jam 6 sore, belum terbentuk satu paragraf yang padu. Mau menulis saja susah, apalagi bercerita. Karena tidak tahu apa yang mau diceritakan.
Semua kegelisahan ini hanya bikin kalut.
Tapi lucunya, tiba-tiba kemarin saya ambil satu buku di rak Gramedia. Buku Quraish Shihab, tentang perempuan dalam Islam.
Saya tidak pernah merasa se-religious ini, setidaknya untuk saat ini.
Ada satu doa yang diajarkan Nabi Muhammad untuk hambanya yang sedang gelisah
"Ya Allah, aku berlindung kepada-Mu dari keresahan dan kesulitan, dari kelemahan dan kemalasan, dari rasa takut dan kikir, dan dari lilitang utang dan penindasan manusia"
ternyata Nabi mengajarkan doa untuk hal seremeh ini.
Terima kasih Tuhan, rasanya ada harapan lagi.
Kalau sedih-sedih dan gelisah tanpa sebab ini membawa saya untuk lebih mengenal Tuhan dan Agama, saya ikhlas.

This one will always be my favorite

Javanese have one terminology to describe uneasy feeling.
 
it is a mixed feeling, composed from
- When you want Jogja so bad, but you cant go that easy. You have to wait for 1.5 weeks again.
- When you supposed to do your final assignment, but you just cant
- When you listen to Tulus new album, over and over again. And in a sudden come that feeling “the song just hit me”
- When you know you are lazy, but you cant do nothing about that
- When you are always pretty optimistic every morning. You feel like you are ready to do something, but it’s always end up of doing nothing
- When you want to finish your day earlier. You go to bed early, but you wake up lately.
- when you know you are in the urge of reading something beautiful but you cant, due to the fact this is the final semester.
 
it is just too plaiiiiinnnn….
even the plain yoghurt have more taste than my soul.
 
Welcome to the age when you have to stop compare yourself to other. Simply because it is tiring.
be prepared when people ask you many questions about your graduation, your carrier, your marriage and any other things which actually it has nothing to do with them. Let them ask, feel free not to answer.
It’s good that you are happy. why busy showing it to others?
it’s good you are interested in one thing, then you feel really excited. you thing others will like it too. they actually don’t give a damn care.
everyone’s is busy thinking about themselves
when you have no idea about something you do, is it right or is it wrong, keep doing it anyway until you feel totally wrong. then back to the beginning, start doing the right one.
don’t invest your time to speculate things.
don’t over controlled of something. why? because you don’t have to.

Nice

But enough, i don’t want some more. 

I don’t want something in the past will be repeated. whether is happiness or sadness. Nope. 

Let see what the future offers.